


with your fingers in my mouth (i fail to see your faults)

by phwaa



Category: Teenage Bounty Hunters
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-30
Updated: 2020-09-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:01:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26203081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phwaa/pseuds/phwaa
Summary: Sterling is sick for two weeks.A hot mess of temperature checks and wet-through vests, she forgets she's not really where she belongs.
Relationships: Sterling Wesley/April Stevens
Comments: 56
Kudos: 629





	1. one

WITH YOUR FINGERS IN MY MOUTH (I FAIL TO SEE YOUR FAULTS)

(Yoke Lore; Beige)

Sterling is sick for two weeks.

A hot mess of temperature checks and wet-through vests, she forgets she's not really where she belongs.

(Between the crisp sheets and failed feats, she dreams of where she wants to be. Here, she thinks, with hair slick against her mother's hand and Blair holding on tightly. Here, with April smiling doe-eyed and devastating, a finger brushing lightly at her bottom lip. Here, here, here.)

Though foggy and flustered, Sterling feels the outline of a body laying firmly at her side.

"I'm still your sister," Blair says, in a guttural pleading kind of way. "I'm still your sister." As if Sterling has a choice to accept this statement and forget the heritage she was pushed into. As if Sterling is choosing to walk with one shoe on, when in reality the other was ripped from her so suddenly she hasn't registered the loss.

Blair stays for days, curled beneath the comforter as though trying to simulate the womb. Perhaps they'll leave as twins again and Sterling can forget the mess around her.

With a heavy head and heavier heart, Sterling drifts in and out of sleep and tries to forget.

Forgetting, she finds, is difficult when it's often the talking point of conversations.

"They looked identical." Bowser says, pointing at the paper in front. A picture of her auntie-mother-outlaw creased and central. "Two of these."

Yolanda, as much as she tries to hide it, looks delighted. "And then what happened?"

After being silent throughout, Blair stands and waves the story away. "The rest doesn't matter." Her face is twisting in pain, pulling her lips into a pout. "Things were said and things were done and then Sterling was sick and now we're here."

Though the real events hadn't happened quiet so quickly, Sterling supposes it's a true enough account.

(Wrists burning from the bounds hanging loose, her legs had crashed to the floor followed quickly by her sister. Sterling had called quietly for her Mom and didn't register which woman answered back.)

Bowser looks between them, reads the room and nods. "Yeah that whole identical thing was the biggest thing to happen. The rest was boring."

Yolanda doesn't look convinced, but she smiles and moves on regardless.

April had cried, she remembers this much. With a pale face, pleading eyes and a perfectly manicured hand reaching out, April had cried.

There are no tears now. "You've been sick." She says, standing at the edge of the study room. The entrance is behind her and April and her clan stand in front, smiling and greeting the student body.

From her right, Blair scoffs and mutters, "she's a regular detective." Sterling hadn't missed the relief on Blair's face when she'd explained what had happened. After attempting sympathy for a full five minutes, Blair had happily declared they could go back to hating April again and hadn't considered Sterling's predicament. 

Sterling had tried to hate April, fingers flush beneath her own shorts and face pressed into her mattress. She'd tried and failed.

"Really sick." Sterling nods, glancing between Ezekiel and Hannah B and back to April in the middle. Her pale blue shirt clings to her chest, hugs at her waist and Sterling wonders if her clothes always looked so good on her. "Wow, nice shirt."

Blair coughs, sprays water onto Ezekiel's sweater and brings her sleeve to wipe at her mouth.

"You're wearing the same shirt." April replies, eyes wide with warning. Hannah B has produces tissues from somewhere and is practically throwing them at the wet top across from her, much to Ezekiel's frustration.

Sterling feels fingers wrap around her wrist. "She's still a little..." Blair stutters, laughs and shakes her head whilst making a twirling motion by her head, "delusional. From the sickness... thing. Temperature. High. You know how it is."

She's slammed face first into the girl's toilets on the first floor, Blair's thumbs digging into her shoulder.

"What the fuck?" She asks. "I thought we hated her again."

Sterling rounds her way to the mirror, says, "we do. We do." It doesn't quite ring true, and she shakes her head and twists the taps to feel the cool water. "I just... I forgot she looked like that." Blair frowns from behind her. "Did her clothes always fit so well?"

"One, that's disgusting." Blair reaches over, turns the tap off. "Two, that's disgusting. And three, she's doing... whatever it is she's doing with your ex boyfriend now. So I think that probably makes it even more disgusting."

"I know." Sterling says, nods at her reflection in the mirror as if trying to convince herself. "I know, I just need to stop thinking about her. Sure, she was a great kisser. Maybe the best." Again, Blair's face has formed into another frown. "But that is so done with now, and we can hate her again."

Finally, Blair smiles. "Exactly. Said like you really don't mean it."

She doesn't mean it, not really.

And when she trips over a life-sized Luke in the hallway and remembers what Blair had said, she still doesn't mean it.

"Sterl," he says, eyes big and round and happy. "You're finally back. I called everyday, well not everyday because your mom told me to stop. But every other day, and then every three days when she told me that was too much. But I did call, I think you answered a few times?"

"Oh," Sterling smiles, clings to the book she's holding and briefly remembers cutting the line. "I must've been too sick to talk."

"That's what I thought." Luke pulls at his bag and points down the corridor. "Wanna walk with me to class? I think we both have math."

She agrees and walks beside him, elbow brushing at his waist. She remembers an easier life, a simple boyfriend who brought with him a simple happiness. (Back before she tasted April and tumbled between two families.) She'd considered, briefly and before being kidnapped, revisiting the relationship.

"I asked April out." He says, and Sterling immediately remembers how long two weeks can be. "Well, I asked her if I should ask her out." His fingers run through the hair at the nape of his neck, pulling at the ends. "You told me to go for it, but then you kissed me and that just confused me even more. April is pretty clever, almost as clever as you, so I asked what she thought and then she said she didn't know, so..."

Sterling reaches over, squeezes his arm and tries to reassure him. Circumstances brought them together but an easy love kept them close. "Luke, it's okay. You can ask whoever you want out."

His face, contorted and crumbling, relaxes only slightly. "Well then Mr Stevens invited me round and asked me loads of questions about you, and April said I had to ask her out." Luke looks at her, his smile looks pained. "So now she's my girlfriend."

With a wave of emotions, Sterling weaves through it all and registers the ache that word brings, but instead finds herself concentrating elsewhere. "What did he ask?"

He falls back into a usual look of confusion. "What?"

"What did Mr Stevens ask about me?"

"Just," Luke shrugs, "about you and Blair. What you do after school, about your job at that yogurt place. A lot about that." He thinks for a moment, lost in his own thoughts. "He really likes yogurt, I think."

Sterling feels sick, thinks about taking another two weeks off and perhaps hiding under her covers forever. They round the corner and April is standing by their classroom door, eyes flickering between them and then landing forcibly on Luke's enthusiastic wave. Her smile, though fake, is big and bright and beautiful. April smiles like her cheeks can't contain her happiness, and Sterling wants more than anything to have it directed at her again.

She doesn't know who or when, but Sterling knows the Stevens family will be the death of her.

She says as much, pulling the strings at her apron and trying not to panic.

"Forget April," Blair says, picking at the toppings in front of her. "It's her creepy dad we need to worry about, because- news flash- he knows we secretly work as badass bounty hunters." Her mouth full, she's immediately distracted. "Oh, speaking of news. Look at my new topping idea. I told Bowser they would be a hit, they're almost all gone."

Blair points to a new container wedged at the end, almost empty but for a few sour patch kids left. "I just watched you eat them all."

She hears Bowser grunt from the back office, moans something about being conned by a small white girl and can't see Blair rolling her eyes. "I'm going to call them sour patch sisters." She says. "In honor of you and me."

(The word, like so many these days, stings. She wonders if Blair feels the loss too.)

It turns out the new topping isn't a great idea and, having ran for less than 30 seconds, Blair curls over and pukes across the sidewalk. Sterling almost follows suit but manages to keep running, eyes set on the bounty in front. She corners him in an alley behind a block of flats and fumbles for her handgun. Bowser must've forgotten to tell them the important bit about him being three times as big as a normal person.

He runs forward, grapples with her gun and she feels it go off. Hears the ringing and panics, pushes against whatever she can and feels the body in front fall. It's a blur, blood pumps to her head and all she sees is red. (Hands tied, mouth gagged, a rifle cocks and her mother smiles before shooting. She didn't need a bullet to kill her, the truth was enough to slaughter.)

They find her there, on top of the bounty with knuckles red raw and bleeding. Bowser pulls her off and away and Sterling distantly hears Blair say, "cool, you shot his toe," before being dragged back, back, back.

Away from the alley, Sterling breathes. It's dark and she can see stars starting to form. "As least we got him." She says, but Bowser is unimpressed.

"What the hell was that? You beat him half to death."

Sterling shrugs, tries to remember what actually happened. "He went for my gun. I panicked." It's not explanation enough, apparently, and when Blair drags the bounty out she tries to mouth an apology to the man. His face is covered in blood, his clothes a mess and his left foot is missing a digit. When she looks back, Bowser is still staring, studying her face. "I guess I'm going through some stuff."

Some stuff turns out to be a lot of stuff.

Luke and April look good together, in a constipated and confusing kind of way. Sterling can't look away.

"Do you think they both think about you when they kiss?" Blair asks, after she's given up trying to distract her. "What a fucked up triangle."

Sterling tears her eyes away to swat at Blair's shoulder. "It's not a triangle. I'm not part of it anymore." 

"Oh sure," Blair laughs. "So you don't think about her when you-"

"Blair!" Sterling shouts it loud enough for the study hall to hear and all heads turn to glare. Of course, there's only one pair of eyes Sterling sees and April stares accusingly back at her. She couldn't have heard their conversation from across the room, but April watches her like she has.

So it's not surprising when Sterling, mid stride in the hallway, is pulled into an empty storeroom. Even less surprising is the small angry culprit.

"Stop watching us." She says, arms crossed against her chest. Sterling tries and fails not to stare, she'd pressed her palm under April's shirt once, felt a nipple there and almost died. That's not what's happening here, though, and she forces her eyes up to find April suddenly disarmed. "Stop-"

"You're watching me if you know I'm watching you." Sterling replies, failing for an explanation and reverting to some kind of logic.

"What?"

"Why didn't you tell me?" She asks, instead of a repeat. "I'm gone for two weeks and suddenly you're dating my ex boyfriend. You didn't think I deserved to be told?"

April looks away, her arms tighten against her body and she looks half defeated. "Luke told you."

Sterling steps forward and watches April step back, her body hitting the shelving behind. Sterling remembers slumping back against the same shelves, fingers slick with thoughts of April. "I wanted you to tell me." She says, resisting the urge to reach out.

She doesn't reply for several seconds, looks up to Sterling and studies her face as if scanning it to memory. "I couldn't." She whispers, eventually. She looks lost for a second longer, takes a breath in and becomes someone else entirely. Shoulders high and firm, she says, "And besides, it's none of your business anymore."

Sterling shouldn't find this April so appealing, but she's come to a dreadful realization that she wants every single part of this girl. The bell rings from somewhere distant in the building and they'll have to leave this cupboard soon.

"Well," April takes it as her cue. She moves towards the door and looks back. "I've told you to stop watching us and that's that." With that, she pulls the handle, takes a deep breath in and whispers, "you smell nice, by the way," before exiting and closing the door behind her.

Blair doesn't agree. "You smell like," she moves in and smells again. "Is that my perfume?"

"Anyway," Sterling says, definitely not delving into that. "She can't control what my eyes do. Most of the time I don't even think I can. They just seem to have an April radar and when she walks into a room, they-"

"Gross." Blair grunts, picking up another lipstick from Sterling's desk draw. "Love really does bring out the worst in you."

"Definitely the pink." Sterling says, pointing to the lipstick in her right hand. "You know red drowns you out. Why are Mom and Dad making us dress up anyway?"

Blair shrugs, turns and applies the selected shade. She makes a noise that sounds vaguely like she doesn't know, before smacking her lips together and turning to show the finished look. "They said we were going for a meal and it best be that place with the steak or else I'm leaving."

It's not the place with the steak and Blair unsuccessfully pulls at the car handle when their destination is finally revealed.

"You have got to be kidding me." Sterling tries her side and groans when the door doesn't open. The car is still moving but she'll jump out and roll if necessary, she could take a broken leg or arm. "This is worst than being kidnapped by my aunt," she moans, "mother, whatever."

Debbie Wesley looks horrified, still unable to broach the subject herself. "Girls, stop being ridiculous. It's one meal and he's been asking us every week at church."

"He's a criminal." Blair cries.

"The charges were dropped." Their father declares, glancing back from the steering wheel. "The woman admitted to making it all up. You know, if the laws actually worked then she should be the one in prison."

Sterling scoffs. "Oh please. You don't believe that."

To her disappointment, both her parents believe it. They say as much as soon as the door opens and Mr Stevens ushers them inside.

"Yes, well," he nods, looking back from between her parents to glower at the girls. "The truth always comes out eventually." The threat registers and Sterling reaches to grab hold of Blair's hand, squeezing tightly. Blair looks unimpressed with his performance but squeezes back regardless.

The house is as big as she remembers, high ceilings and marble floors. At the top of the center staircase, April stands as if a princess in a fairy tale and Sterling can't attempt to hide her awe. Seeing April in anything other than uniform still feels like a revelation, and the dress she's wearing looks like it was made to wrap around her body.

She feels fingers pushing her chin closed and turns to see Blair looking stern. "Oh sorry, do you want him to see you drooling over his daughter?"

Sterling doesn't drool, wipes at her mouth to be certain and finds herself doing it every time she dares to glance at April, just in case.

(April had tasted of apricots and after school trysts. She'd touched like her hands were dancing, dragging along her skin and preserving it to memory.)

"Sterling?" Her mother says, and Sterling realizes she's been staring. She looks around and sees all eyes directed at her, Blair looking particularly bored. "Are you going to answer his question?"

"What?" She asks, tries to remember the last conversation she'd been a part of. Something about the food. "Yes, the potatoes are delicious."

Blair snorts and looks immediately happier, directing another forkful into her mouth.

Mr Stevens waves away her mother's apologies and smiles something ugly. "Don't worry. I imagine she has a lot on her mind, what with exams and assignments and... what is it you do for work again?"

Sterling swallows, feels a pee wedge at the back of her throat. "Yogurt," she says, coughs against her palm until she feels the food dislodge. "I make yogurt."

"How delicious." Mrs Stevens smiles. "April considered getting a job at one point, didn't you love? But now she always seems to be studying with Luke. Who needs a job when you have full-time young love, right?" She's laughing and nodding towards April, who looks on the edge of being sick into her plate.

Her mother perks up, glass of wine midway to her mouth. "Sterling's Luke?"

"The yogurt shop must be working you pretty hard." Mr Stevens says, and Sterling feels in the crossfire. "Is that how you hurt your hand?"

Sterling looks down and sees the hand gripping at her knife, knuckles still ripped and red. Blair grabs her arm and pulls it beneath the table and Mr Stevens looks delighted. Her father catches the motion from across the table and asks, "what happened to your hand, Sterl?"

"No, April's Luke." Sterling hears from the other end, Mrs Stevens is reaching out for April. "What's his name again? Luke...?"

Blair shakes off their father's questions and Sterling tries to focus back. "She tried out for lacrosse and cut it. It's not for her, as it turns out. Right, Sterl?"

"Creswell?" Her mother says from another conversation, repeating April's answer. "That's definitely Sterling's Luke. Why didn't you tell me about this, Sterling?"

She looks across at all the expectant eyes and wants to disappear.

"I need to wee." She manages, blinking at no one in particular. "I'm going to wee."

With the threat of damaging her finest dining furniture, Mrs Stevens excuses her from the table and directs her to the nearest toilet.

Sterling runs the cold water for several long minutes, splashes it against her skin and tries not to ruin her mascara. She thinks she better at least try to wee, else she'll need to go soon after she leaves and no doubt that will start another conversation about a possible urine infection.

The far wall is one large mirror and Sterling watches her reflection. "Get it together." She repeats, glaring at herself in the mirror. "What are you doing?"

Someone makes a startled noise on the other side of the door. "I came to see if you were sick again." Blair replies. "How did you know I was out here?"

Sterling leans over and unlocks the door, waits for Blair to open it and sidle in.

"He's not even scary." Blair says, after a while. "And he's actually kind of small. We could definitely take him again if we needed to."

She laughs and nods as Blair comes to sit beside the toilet.

(They don't look like sisters in the mirror across and Sterling aches all over again.)

"You're missing dessert." Sterling remembers. "That's your favorite part."

Blair shrugs and passes her the tissue paper. "You're my favorite part, silly."

April finds them in the toilet thirty minutes later, both of them sitting on the floor and giggling. "Oh," she says, hovers at the door and looks between them. "I didn't mean to interrupt. Your parents are looking for you, I think our mothers have jointly finished all the wine."

"Sounds about right." Blair mumbles, pulling herself up and brushing past April. "Don't be long." She sings, pulling the door behind her.

April looks panicked and goes to leave until Sterling says, "you can't spend five seconds alone with me? Will your dad suddenly know you're a lesbi-"

A hand slams against her mouth and her back hits the wall. "Don't talk about it here." April warns, eyes hard and breath heavy. She looks beautiful in anger and Sterling just nods her head, feeling the rub of April's palm against her mouth with the movement. April must feel it too, because her hand whips back as if burning and her eyes are suddenly staring at Sterling's lips.

Sterling considers leaving and saving them both from more pain, but her chest aches and she feels desperate for a small piece of April. She reaches out, pulls at her waist until they're flush against each other and April is the one to close the gap. As with everything in life, April gives her all to the task at hand. She kisses like it'll be over any minute and Sterling holds her tighter, pulls her closer in the hope that it won't be.

April's palm finds its way back to Sterling's body again, pressing against one of her breasts until Sterling can't be quiet any longer. She gasps into April's mouth and feels her lips curl into a smile, moving to kiss Sterling's open jaw. April pulls back slightly, looks at Sterling with hungry eyes and moves back in to kiss her again before-

"I said don't be long." Blair calls, knocking once at the wooden door.

As if the curse has suddenly broken, April jolts back and away and Sterling feels cold.

"Sorry," April mumbles, more to herself than anyone else. She looks up to Sterling, opens her mouth and closes it several times before shaking her head. "I lost myself there."

Sterling swallows and says, "it felt like you found yourself."

"Oh, gross." She hears Blair groan, swinging open the door. "Drunk Moms alert in five, four, three..."

April blinks at her once more before swinging round and out of the door. "I found them." She says, voice as clear and comprehensive as usual. Like her tongue wasn't in Sterling's mouth seconds earlier. She hears lots of noise and talking and thinks only of the beating between her legs.

"Right Girls." Her mother slurs, head popping around the door. "I think it's time for home."

Sterling gathers herself and leaves the house the same way she entered, with the threat of being completely ruined by one of the Stevens.

(Only this time she desperately wants it.)


	2. two

Sterling finds herself there constantly. With the moon overhead and mud in her tread, she'd felt Blair's hand like a lifeline.

(She'd let go, eventually, and the tether had snapped and Sterling had fell hard against the rubble.)

With two identical women staring back at her, she'd wondered who she really belonged to. If she'd been imitating the wrong woman all along.

She wonders this still, with a gun fixed firmly between her fingers and a bounty on his knees in front.

(Debbie Wesley is friendly and forgiving and regrettably not her own mother. Dana is not as merciful.)

"You punched my sister." Sterling says, finger tracing the safety. Somewhere in the distance, Blair is catching up and coming closer. "That wasn't kind."

The man in front looks confused. "She hit me with a stick first."

That may be true, but Sterling isn't interested in avenging those injuries. Blair will have a black eye tomorrow and the bounty in front is to blame. She wonders whether her mother, with wild hair and wilder eyes, would allow this kind of behavior.

(Dana had tightened the cloth with calloused fingers, cutting tight against her cheeks. With a gun pressed close and dread pooling closer, Sterling hadn't known she was born from this blood.)

The others arrive in tandem, Bowser with cuffs and Blair with cuts. She points to her right eye, shouts, "mean!" and groans in annoyance. "We've got him, Sterl." She says, looking between Sterling and the gun. Bowser looks up from the bounty to register the scene.

Sterling knows he's caught, can see his wrists locked together, but her arm won't drop and her fingers are starting to shake. (Dana had pressed the barrel to her back and pulled her away, away, away. Sterling had felt her life slipping out of her hands, had felt- "Sterling, you are my-")

"Sterling." Blair is standing beside her now, nodding her head towards the gun. "What are you doing?"

She's paralyzed. She shakes her head and looks at her fingers, trying to pull them away. "I don't..."

Bowser breaks the spell, pulls the pistol from her hand and tells Blair to grab the bounty. "I don't know what this shit is." He says, after. "But you ain't bringing it to my work."

Work, from that point on, transforms into melting ice creams and runny yogurts.

Blair has the decency to look mildly apologetic, takes a handful of toppings and talks about research and Miles before skipping out. She returns seconds later and Sterling says, "I already told you, I don't want to hear about your bounty" before looking up and seeing it isn't Blair at all.

"What bounty?" April asks, looking around the empty store. Her face alone is enough to put Sterling on edge. She thinks about the sick to the stomach love she once spoke about with Blair and wonders if that's why her chest feels tight whenever she's around April.

"What?" Sterling shrugs, feigning confusion. "I didn't say that."

April studies her for a few seconds, a frown starts to form before she shakes her head and it's gone. "Okay." She drawls, ending that. "Listen, Sterling. I think we should talk."

(With her eyes closed and fingers drawing circles below, Sterling had tried not to recall being pressed into the wall and the lips that came after.)

"About the kiss?" Sterling asks, barely audible over April's gasp. "What? No one else is here."

Even with that information, April looks dubious. She walks around the store, looks behind the tables and chairs before returning to the counter. Inspection complete with an acceptable outcome, April nods. "Yes, about the kiss."

It sounds nice from April's mouth and Sterling tries to harden her face so she's not obviously swooning. Blair had compared her to a gummy bear when around April Stevens, and Sterling wasn't about to give the game away that easy. "Did you want to do it again?"

"What?" She looks taken aback, her eyes drop to Sterling's mouth before April shakes her head and, again, it's gone. "No. No, that's not why I'm here. And, anyway, that would be completely irresponsible of us. I have a-" She winces and Sterling prepares herself for what's coming. "I have a boyfriend now."

"Yeah I know." She says, nods and swallows away the sickly taste on her tongue. "I didn't want to anyway."

They both know that's not true and April doesn't feign ignorance, just sighs and lets her shoulders slump a little. She doesn't speak for a long time and Sterling can't stand the silence, considers offering a free yogurt pot before April finally speaks. "It's so unfair." She whispers, closing her eyes. "You're making this so hard."

Sterling isn't doing anything, not really. Still, she feels the need to apologize. "I'm sorry?"

April's face softens and she walks up to the counter until there's just a worktop between them.

"Don't apologize, it's not you. It's..." April leans over, places her hand over Sterling's where it rests by the till. "You're great. Amazing, even."

Her skin is warm, soft against Sterling's fingers. That aching in her chest subsides, if only for a few seconds, but then it's back and April is pulling away and the hand is gone.

"My Dad, he's so suspicious of everyone. I was so worried when he asked your family to dinner." She looks around the store and shrugs. "He asked for this address the other day and... he's just acting really strange lately. He doesn't even like yogurt."

The sickness comes back in full force and Sterling tries to keep the panic from her face. "That's... That is so strange."

"I know." April agrees, pursing her lips and tucking hair behind her ear. Sterling watches the motion and wants to reach out, clutches the counter to stop herself. "I just think it would be better if we kept our distance for now."

Sterling's hands squeeze a little tighter and she can feel her knuckles turning white. "Okay." She whispers.

April looks up at her with a soft smile. "I know you said you didn't know about..." She stops, swallows and tries a different approach. "But maybe someday we could be friends again. Like before in fifth grade."

"Maybe." Sterling says, though she wants to ask for so much more. "That would be nice."

They stand in silence for a few more seconds until April nods and makes an excuse to leave. "I'll see you around." She says, turning back at the door and adding. "From a distance, obviously."

The distancing plan lasts for two days and falls on the third.

Ellen calls for them to stay after class and Sterling sees panic in April's face when the door closes in front of them.

Perched against the front desk, Ellen claps her hands together and looks between them with a cautious gaze. "Now I know you think I'm an old goat and know nothing, but I do keep my ear to the ground on the old gossip train." She says slowly. "And I think it would be a darn shame if you let this get between you."

Sterling scoffs, starts trying to think of excuses and turns to April and expects to see a hurricane. Instead, April is as stoic as ever. She purses her lips, shakes her head just a little and says, "I have no idea what you're referring to, Ellen."

"Yeah," Sterling laughs, flustered against April's calm. "We haven't done anything wrong. It felt natural-"

"And I wouldn't listen to gossip anyway." April cuts in. "It starts from undeveloped brains and spreads through stupidity until the information becomes as factually correct as Hannah B's assignments."

Ellen looks confused. "That's oddly specific, April," she drawls. "I just mean with the whole sharing a boyfriend thing." She says, looking straight at April. "I thought I saw you and Luke holding hands last week? Gosh, darn, I've jumped to conclusions again, haven't I?"

Sterling asks, "you were holding hands?" at the same time as April says, "oh, that's actually true."

April registers Sterling's question and glances over with an apology that won't be voiced. (Sterling thinks about her soft hands, a thumb rubbing at her cheek between clacking wooden balls and laser shots. She wants to hold her hand now.)

"I hope a silly boy hasn't ruined what you've just healed. I've heard that saying, bro's before..." Ellen's eyes widen and she shakes her head and smiles. "Wow, I haven't said that out loud before. What a horrible thing to say."

"We're fine." April says, nudging Sterling's side. "Right, Sterl?"

She emphasizes her name and Sterling feels the warning. "Yes, fine. As fine as..." She trails off, can't think of anything that's currently fine. (Luke and April holding hands is definitely not fine and that is all that fills her mind.)

Ellen gives up waiting for an example and resorts back to beaming between them. "Well isn't that the best news I've heard all day. Not only are my two favorite students best friends again, but you can also work on my new project together."

This is news to Sterling and she asks, "project?" just as April questions the same.

"Since you did such an amazing job on Solomon's Temple together, I thought you could start on a new model for the open house. A model of the great Willingham Academy." She puts up her hands, smiles hopefully. "Now, I know it's mega ambitious. But if anyone can do it then it's you two, and I have all the faith in the world."

April opens her mouth to object, stutters out, "I have so much work on-"

"I already told the Principle." Ellen says, dipping her head. "You'll try, won't you, girls?"

"Absolutely not." Blair slams down her yogurt scoop. "That's insanity."

Sterling agrees. However, faced with an enthusiastic Ellen and alone time with April, she'd said differently. "So insane." Sterling nods. "I was forced into it."

"Well who am I going to spend my weekends with now?" Blair pouts, throwing the scoop against the counter. "Miles only sees me once a week and now you're leaving me too."

"I'm not leaving you." Sterling says. (She'd heard sirens, seen flashing blue lights and felt lost. Her mother had left in a cop car and Sterling felt like a stranger among her own family. She'd exited the trailer park a different person completely.) "I'll just be in the garage. Besides, Bowser won't let me hunt bounties anyway."

Blair huffs and comforts herself with some toppings before turning back. "You'll be back hunting with us in no time." She says, though she looks dubious. "You've sorted it, right? That little brain freeze that happened?" 

She still doesn't know what happened. Sterling had felt far from herself, trapped in her body as her new bastard blood took over. Perhaps she's over thinking everything. 

(Perhaps she needs to meet her. If only Sterling could look into Dana's eyes, look past the crazy and deranged to see someone recognizable. Without the gags and the guns and the threat of botched biology.)

"You're not like her, you know?" Blair is staring at her, willing the statement into being. "You're not like your-" she looks away, still afraid to broach their severance, "-you know who."

"I know." She says, a lie. "I'm a Wesley."

"Exactly." Blair agrees, relief filling her face. "You're more of a Wesley than I am."

"That's not what I hear." A voice laughs from the store entrance. They both jump and look towards the sounds. Sterling hadn't noticed they had a customer, hadn't heard the door go or feel the air get colder. She feels cold now, though. Mr Stevens leans against the far wall, arms crossed and feet apart. At their shocked faces, he shrugs and his smile grows wider. "What? I've been to prison, as you well know. I have links."

"You should be back there." Blair says, turning towards him. Her face is fearless and Sterling tries to mirror it. "I didn't realize being rich made you exempt from the law."

Mr Stevens apparently finds this even funnier. "The charges were dropped, little girl. I'm innocent."

"Those two statements mean very different things." Sterling raises an eyebrow, tries to look all-knowing and confident. "And only one is true."

He has the same lopsided smile as April, it doesn't look as appealing on him and Sterling wishes there was no resemblance there at all. There is, though, and it doesn't work in his favor. With every word he drawls out longer than necessary and every smirk he pulls out after a cheap shot, Sterling is reminded of the April before she was let in behind the curtain.

"Oh really?" He asks, looking between them. "Well how about these two statements? You two are little cunts. And you aren't really sisters."

Sterling gasps and says, "the c-word is so uncalled for," just as Blair scoffs, "jokes on you, because they're both untrue."

"Oh really?" Mr Stevens walks a little closer, hands pushing into his pockets. He purses his lips. "A little prison bird might say differently. Her story is a little more interesting, want to hear it?"

"Not really." Another voice comes from the office behind and they both jump again. Blair mumbles, "where are these people coming from," as Bowser steps out. "I think I've heard enough from you." He passes the counter and only stops until he's face to face with Mr Stevens, who looks unmoved by the entrance. "How about I tell you a little story instead?"

"You should definitely tell him a story." Sterling nods. Blair claps her hands and leans forward on the worktop.

Mr Stevens looks less enthused, glances to the girls in disbelief before looking back at Bowser. "Do you know who I am?"

"Do you think I care?" He shrugs, placing a hand on Mr Steven's shoulder and guiding him towards the door. "Now, back to my story. Let me tell you somewhere the kids can't hear us."

"We don't mind." Blair calls, just as the door closes behind them both. They watch as the two men disappear from view and wait in silence until one minute turns into ten. "Do you think they're killing each other?"

Sterling tuts and shakes her head. "Bowser would win any day."

Bowser does win. He walks back in after another ten minutes and gets bombarded with questions. He takes them all, shuffling his eyes between them both until there's nothing left to ask. "Did I-?" He groans. "No, I did not kill him. Who do you think I am? I just made it clear he wasn't welcome at Yogurtopia. Or around you two."

"Did you at least threaten to kill him?" Sterling asks.

Bowser rolls his eyes. "If he comes near you or starts any girly gossip, he knows that a certain video of his arrest will go vital."

"Viral." They both add in unison.

"Whatever."

Blair bats her eyelashes, swivels to follow Bowser as he storms back into his office. "I want to be just like you when I'm older."

"Shut up." He spits, a smile showing at the very corners of his mouth. "Now get back to work."

"I do actually have a lot of work on." April mutters, stroking a hand against the piece of wood she's holding. "So this isn't convenient."

Sterling nods, tries not to stare at the motion. "Yeah, same. Loads."

"Really?" April asks, surprised and looking up to Sterling as she drops her protective glasses down. "What work do you have?"

"Huh?" Besides serving yogurt with a side of sprinkles, Sterling hasn't got a lot on. At the risk of sounding boring, she splutters out, "you know. Lots of...work things. Doing this and doing that. Lots of doing that. So, yeah."

April stares at her for several seconds, a blank expression on her face. "Okay." She drawls, before turning the saw on and following the dark line Sterling had penned out earlier. They've been doing this for the past hour and Sterling is still weak at the sight of April appearing practiced and powerful.

"So," Sterling says, once the saw is off and it's silent again. She stumbles for a conversation starter. "How is Luke nowadays?"

It's not the best topic and Sterling regrets the questions immediately, especially when April looks up and frowns. "Why?" She asks, her eyes scanning Sterling's face with curiosity and something Sterling doesn't recognize. "Do you still like him?"

"What?" She scoffs, tries to laugh it off. "Of course not. I just meant how's your relationship going? Last time we were in here you didn't seem too impressed with him."

April looks relieved, her shoulders relax and she turns to pick up another piece of wood. "I'm not." She blinks, reaching for the sanding block. "He lacks direction, his grades are below average and his jokes tend to center around movies or toilets." April shrugs, glancing to Sterling. "But my Dad thinks he's godly enough and he smiles like he means it. So it could be worse."

Sterling squints through the pain in her chest, says, "wow, love's young dream."

Across from her, April stops sanding and places the block on the worktop. She stares at the wood below for long moments before looking up, cursed and conflicted. "I can't love who I want right now, Sterling. I have expectations to uphold whilst I'm here. Some things are better left hidden for the time being." 

"I know." Sterling nods, biting at her lip and trying to work up the courage to say, "I'm sorry." April's face twists to inquisitive. "For being so forceful with the whole coming out thing. Your dad can be super intense, even more than you, and you should be able to do your own thing. In, like, your own time."

April looks at her quietly, her lips quiver like they want to smile but can't. "Yeah." She sighs. "Thanks."

(Sterling remembers hopeful promises to hold hands, heaving away from the lock-in with feet following behind and maybe someday whispered into the night.)

"Anyway," April says, tapping her nails against the wood. "We should get back to work. Talking will only slow us down."

Sterling nods, uncaps her pen and continues to craft in silence.

Bowser begs for silence after Blair interrupts for the tenth time.

"But I don't know any of the lyrics." She moans, sitting back and pouting. "How am I meant to sing along and entertain if I can't even guess the words?"

"It's classic blues, just be quiet and enjoy it." Bowser taps a hand against the steering wheel before briefly glancing to Sterling in the front passenger seat. "Oi, Blondie, where we going again? I like to drive with direction, all this secrecy is making me antsy."

"It's not a secret." She says, scrolling along the map on her phone. "Turn off at the next set of lights."

Blair huffs from the back, does it louder when she gets no reaction. "I fully support you," she says, sounding like she definitely doesn't. "But I want it noted in the history textbooks that I think this is a bad idea."

"Noted." Sterling nods, indicating her hand to the right for Bowser. "And I want it noted that I appreciate your opinion and love you for the support."

Blair sounds happier when she replies, "noted loud and clear."

"Here?" Bowser shouts, pulling up to the parking lot when they finally arrive. "Why didn't you tell me? We come here all the time." He looks from Sterling to Blair before facing the Women's Prison in front. "Wait, why are we here?"

"You look nervous." Blair says, reaching across to squeeze Sterling's hand. "Are you nervous? You'll be fine."

She's not fine. The metal door slams behind her and she jumps at the sound.

The visitors room she's pushed into is small, a large glass screen separates the inmates and Sterling nearly leaves when she sees the woman waiting for her.

"You can sit down, Sterling." Dana lifts her eyebrows, nods to the chair in Sterling's room. "I ain't gonna bite."

"I like standing." Sterling says, and then thinks better of it. "But I guess sitting is good too."

Sitting is not good, it brings her eye level with Dana and she suddenly sees the glaring differences between the woman in front and her identical sister. Dana's eyes are wide and unsettling, they watch with jerky movements and blink fast so as to not miss anything. She smiles with her teeth which yellow at the roots.

"Have I said how happy I was when you asked to visit me? Because I was happy. Real happy." Her eyes somehow get bigger as she wiggles and leans closer to the glass. "Just me and my daughter, getting to know each other and bonding through a little slab of glass. Who would've thought it? Not me. Not me."

Dana stares at her expectantly and Sterling shrinks, "yeah, not me," she agrees, eventually. "So. How are you finding prison?"

"Oh, don't ask me that." Dana waves her hand dismissively. "That's boring. I don't wanna talk about this place. Ask me something else. Ask me anything."

She wonders if her movements are as twitchy, if her mind runs as fast and fitful as hers. ("You're not like her," Blair had said. Was it a fact or a prayer?)

"Okay. Who's my Dad?" Sterling tries.

Dana's hand is in the air again. "Oh, not that. I don't want to talk about that ugly bastard. Ask me something else."

Sterling has many questions she wants to ask, it's the answers she doesn't want. She clutches at the hem of her sweater and swallows slowly. "Am I anything like you?"

For several long seconds, Dana is still. She regards Sterling with a sudden look of understanding. "Oh, muffin." She sighs, sinking back into her chair. Her room looks darker than Sterling's. Dana looks lost. "I may be your mother, but that's where the similarities end."

"Really?" She asks, trying not to sound relieved.

"I could've picked you out from a lineup any day." Dana says, tapping a nail against the glass. "You're more Debbie than she was at your age. Too know-it-all and clever for my liking, too prim and proper. You're my beautiful offspring, but you're Debbie's daughter. No doubt about that."

"Thank you." Sterling smiles, her chest a little lighter, her blood running purer. "I mean, not that it's a bad thing.. you're fine but... Thank you."

Dana nods like she knows exactly what Sterling means. She looks gentle for a second longer before she leans forward and raises her brows again. "Now. Ask me something else."

She doesn't ask questions when April paints the third wall in the wrong color, throwing the pain brush down and moaning about starting again. When she does it a fourth time, Sterling feels the need to intervene. "Are you okay? You're acting a little weird."

"I'm fine." April argues, viciously dunking her brush before looking up. "You know what? I'm not. I don't know why you think it's fair or appropriate to behave like this, but frankly I think it's barbaric. Given the circumstances, I expected you to behave with a little more finesse."

Sterling is aghast. "What? What have I done?"

"You know what." April says accusingly. "Let's just resolve this quickly. I think you should put a sweater on or something. Your top is..." her eyes slowly travel downwards and Sterling feels her cheeks start to pink. "Somewhat distracting."

"Oh." Sterling manages, immediately using her hands to cover herself. "I didn't realize. It isn't even that low-"

"Okay, bitches." Blair sings, kicking the garage door open. "Look what Miles got. He saved it from one of his cool college parties especially for us. Isn't he the sweetest?"

She's waving a large glass bottle of clear liquid in one hand and plastic cups in the other. Walking slowly behind her, Miles looks unimpressed. "You say saved it for you. I say you stole it from my bag whilst I was in the bathroom."

Blair pouts at him and shrugs. "Same thing?"

April looks horrified and stands, paintbrush drowning in water. "I better go, we can finish this another time."

"Don't worry, snowflake. We've got mixer too." Blair points to a cheap bottle of Cola in Miles' hands. "Are you worried this might actually make you fun?"

Sterling rolls her eyes and says, "this isn't a great idea," as April argues, "I've had alcohol before, Blair, I'm not in kindergarten."

"Could've fooled me." Blair mumbles, setting out four cups before directing Miles to fill them up. April is still standing, hovering at the table and looking between the door and Sterling. Blair smirks. "Are you such a lightweight you can't even handle one drink? I bet you're a complete mess after one sip."

She take many sips and most definitely is not a mess.

If April Stevens has one defining flaw, it's her inability to let anyone win over her. She'd scoffed at Blair's comment and accepted the cup like a challenge, almost downed it in one with a "see?" Blair had filled it again and made a comment about her throwing up after a second cup and Sterling had been sure she wouldn't fall for it.

"My parents let me have at least three glasses of wine at Christmas." April says, sipping at her second drink. "I can handle myself fine."

April looks relaxed, she smiles full and free and beautiful. Sterling can't stop staring, heats up every time April's eyes travel lower. She can't even blame the alcohol, she's barely finished her first cupful. Though she'd monitored the making of her own drink, it seems Blair has a new mission to finish the bottle. She hands Miles a cup that's definitely seventy percent vodka and he accepts happily.

Blair and Miles move together with comfort. She touches his arm, he touches her face and they laugh like no one else is in the room.

"They look happy." April says, sitting on the floor beside her. She's looking at them with sad eyes and Sterling reaches over and allows their fingers to touch, if only for a second. April's head whips around and she watches Sterling earnestly. "Are you happy?"

Sterling blinks across, shrugs. "I could be."

April glances down to her lips, nods like she knows exactly what Sterling means. Her smile is slow and seductive and slanted across one cheek. "You could be, huh?" She whispers. "Anything I can help with?"

Sterling feels at a loss for words, she sucks in breath in case her body stops working. "There's a lot you could help with."

With the rest of the world somehow forgotten, April inches a little closer and Sterling wonders if they're going to kiss, wonders- "One more for anymore?" Blair slurs, falling between them. "Is that the saying?"

Something broken and something lost, April jumps up and looks around. "Wow, I should- I need to-" She doesn't finish her sentence, grabs her bag from the table and strides out the door without another word.

"I guess she's a no. How about little Sterl?"

Sterling stands and follows.

"Why are you following me?"

"Why are you leaving?" Sterling counters, only stopping when she's managed to grab April's arm and pull her around. Sterling finally looks around. "And why are we in the kitchen? This isn't the way out."

April frowns, nods her head to the sink. "I wanted a glass of water. Is that allowed?"

Sterling immediately lets go, fumbles around the cupboards before producing a glass. "Of course. I thought you were..." She pours some cold water from the refrigerator and passes it over. "I guess water is good when you're drunk."

Again, April looks confused. She smiles but accepts the glass. "I'm not drunk, Sterling. I made sure your sister used appropriate proportions. I just," she shakes her head, looking away, "I can't control myself around you at the best of times. With alcohol and being close and," she waves her hand at Sterling's top. "That damn top. I needed some air."

Sterling's cheeks flare pink on cue and she bites her lip daringly. "I'll wear this more often then."

"You won't." April says, so assuredly Sterling thinks it must be true. She finishes her water and carefully places the glass on the worktop. "I should be going, though. Don't touch the model by yourself, you might ruin it and I'm not starting again. We'll continue it next weekend."

Sterling can't come up with another excuse in time, nods and watches April walk toward the door before following her again.

"April." She calls, almost running into her back. April turns and faces her, looking up expectantly. "I don't want you to control yourself around me."

April laughs and looks to the floor. "Maybe someday I won't have to."

When she looks up, her lips are wide and happy. She reaches out and rubs her thumb along Sterling's jaw, slow and soft and simple. When her thumb moves to trace her bottom lip, Sterling sighs out and leans down so they're foreheads are touching.

Sterling nods, moving them both with the motion. "Maybe someday." She agrees, leaning forward just enough to connect their lips.

The kiss only lasts for several seconds and April's other hand finds Sterling's waist and squeezes.

(The ache in her chest subsides, smothers out and dies. Perhaps Sterling is right where she belongs.)


End file.
